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Dear Glenn,

I feel very compelled to share with you how your book has helped me. I read it a few weeks ago. I've been very reluctant to share this with you. But I haven't shared this with a single soul. It's an internal battle I've been facing for about a year now.

Up until I read the part of your book where Eddie's mom died in the car accident, I have laid in my bed every night contemplating killing myself. Every night I thought about how and when I would do it the next day. I was convinced that everybody I care about would be better off if I no longer existed. I knew they would be sad at first. But I thought that in time, it would be a better situation for everybody if I was out of the equation.

If you were to see me every day in passing, you would think I'm a relatively happy person. I'm cheerful. I smile. I say hi. But on the inside I couldn't wait to get away from whoever I was forced to talk to. I was afraid they would see that I'm weak. It's like an extra job. I was always calculating what and how to act around people. I don't ever complain. I tried so hard to appear normal and happy in order to avoid the possibility that somebody might know, and potentially prevent my plan.

I've been a very irresponsible woman. I'm 25. I have 3 children: An 8 year old son, a 6 year old son, and a 6 month old daughter. I've never been married. And none of my children have the same father. I've been getting food stamps, medical, and daycare on and off throughout their lives. My parents are good parents. They did not raise me this way. They didn't invest thousands of dollars for good schooling for me to waste it the way I did. I know that I disappointed them.

After I had my second son at 19, I wanted to get my life in order. I became a positive person. I read a bunch of motivational books. I wanted to give my boys a good life. I wanted to be a good example for them. I had to make up for the fact that I couldn't give them the traditional family setting they deserved. I found a good job. I went back to school. I thought I was doing better than a lot of people my age who didn't even have kids (the ego that almost killed me). I was on my own, off assistance, and felt victorious. But since I was still a selfish person at the time, it eventually all came crashing down. Of nobody's fault but my own, I failed, miserably.

Drowning in my self-pity, the thoughts started to come. And as crazy as it sounds, the thought of killing myself was almost like a relief. I just really believed it would solve everybody's problems. I didn't think I deserved to live. I didn't think I was worth the havoc I caused on everybody else.

THEN I irresponsibly became pregnant. AGAIN. By another guy I knew would not be there. With no means to support this baby. Everybody insisted I get an abortion. Everybody was so angry with me. But nowhere near as angry as I was with myself. The father disappeared (literally) when I was 6 months pregnant. I was so angry with everybody who told me not to have her, I wouldn't let anybody in the room when I gave birth. I shut everybody out. I isolated myself. I didn't want to hear 'I told you so'.

For the first time, I will admit that it has been very hard taking care of 3 kids by myself. My pride won't let me admit it to anybody I love. But it has been. Typing these words is bringing tears to my eyes. These children have the deck stacked so much against them due to MY NEGLECT. I lost hope Glenn. I thought I would never be able to give them a good life. That I was incapable of doing something good with their lives. I tried before, twice, and I failed (which was all my fault), and ultimately gave up trying.

I considered myself to be a glitch in the system. A burden and a disgrace to everybody who did it the right way. I was ashamed that I had another baby, out of wedlock with no way to support her. I accepted defeat. I made up my mind that there was no hope. Every night I decided that the next day would be the day. I figured my parents were still young enough to raise my kids, and they could do it better than I could. I thought that the ONLY chance my kids had would have was if I was gone.

Then you came back on the radio here. I had never heard your radio show before that. But you're different than the rest of the talk radio guys. Sometimes I think you're talking to ME. Sometimes. I didn't cry after I had my baby. I sucked it up. Until one day you said something, I can't remember what. And it all came out that day. I was in my car. I had to pull over. I cried. Hard.

I purchased The Christmas Sweater a few weeks ago.

I read it. I identified with the description of your mother. The way she loved you. The way she wanted the best for you. The way her world revolved around you. When she died in the car accident, something happened inside of me. It struck a chord. Hard. I found it to be so very unfortunate. So unfair. I'm deeply sorry for your loss. You mention in the end that she passed shortly thereafter.

How you describe the way it affected Eddie changed the way I felt. The mental picture of my 8 year old son as Eddie occurred throughout the entire book. It broke my heart to think of the cross he would bear if I took my life. So much that I felt terrible for considering it. It opened my eyes. Thank God.

Honestly Glenn, if I had not read that book, I don't know if I'd still be here.

Your book helped me realize that I am the single most important person in this universe to those 3 children. I appreciate my life so much now. I regret how much I took it for granted before. If I would've wasted my second chance, my kids may have never had a first chance. Your words on that radio restore that hope in me. You are different than the rest.

I don't want to sound any more irrational than I already have, but in lots of ways, you saved my life. More importantly, you saved my children’s mother. I'm just one person. But I'm positive, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am one of many Glenn.
I thought you deserved to know how MUCH The Christmas Sweater impacted my life. And more importantly, the lives of my children. Thank you so much Glenn.

Jennifer
 

Glenn,

I have the same sad story many others have, but I am still working every day of my life to get through the storm and out to the other side.

I was 8 years old when my storm started; it was the day I lost my mother, and, 4 months later, my baby sister. I remember the day perfectly forever etched into my mind: It was the first day of spring in 1985. My younger brother and I were on Spring Break from school and that morning my mother dropped us off at my grandparent’s house for a day of playing. We knew soon that we would have a baby sister to hold and play with and it was a sunny mild warm day. I remember the call saying mom had gone into labor and we should have a sister by that night, so my younger brother and I went to the neighbor’s house to play. I will never forget that, at some point during the afternoon, I felt that my mother had died, before ever being told. I can still remember thinking to myself that life was about to be hard. I was automatically thrust into a life of trying to heal myself and protecting and caring for a younger brother, nobody seemed to understand either of us.

My storm started then and has included past addictions, a divorce and now, I have put off finishing my college degree and basically have been just going through the motions of daily life the last 2 years.

I find myself just wanting a family more than anything. I have seen my best friends having kids and a wife that supports and loves them, and sometimes I just get so jealous and sad I can’t even hang out with them.

Glenn, your book was very touching and helped me bring up some old feelings I had suppressed for a very long time. I am still unable to let someone help me, I have done things on my own and shouldered a lifetime of responsibility and burdens of trying to help my brother heal, rather than help myself. I always take a responsibility to help others, and to try fixing other people’s problems rather than my own.

I decided to focus on my own problems in 2009 thanks to this book. I am also considering writing my own book just as a healing process. I shed a lot of tears at the end of your book, Glenn, because I will never see my mother's face again, but Thank You for sharing yourself with us, I plan to do the same and hope it will heal me as well.

Casey form Tulsa
 

Glenn,

Your book was very revealing and honest, which I can understand is difficult to do. Every day I deal with my daughter's autism and my husband's addiction, which has slowly been crumbling our marriage. I found myself sitting in my car and about to just drive off the nearest bridge, when I found your book that I had bought. I sat there and read it that night. Glenn, you may have inadvertently saved my life, because I found the courage to keep going and face my storm.
Thanks so much for all that you do for others!

Sherri from Georgia
 

Glenn,

I was born into the arms of an alcoholic mother who did not want me, ever. From there, life went to sexual abuse and on to an abusive marriage that, if examined, would go down as being one of the biggest crimes against a human being any wife has ever suffered.

From there to an abusive boyfriend, because by then I thought that was all I deserved, more abuse. I lost everything, including my self-respect. It is sometimes reaching the bottom that is the only way to stand.

And so I did, I’m still standing. I received The Christmas Sweater as a gift and read it in one day. I felt a connection between your life and mine, and the lives of many who have and will face the storm of their life. I traveled to your book signing and shook your hand, your warmth and sincerity was unmistakable. I want to thank you for being a beacon in the storms of life!

May you always walk through life surrounded by love. Thank-you Glenn.

A woman form central New York
 

Glenn,

Thank you for all that you have done in helping wake us all up these past few years.
I am a 44 yr old married mom w/6 kids, self-employed, completely crazy, busy life. I have not been a person that yearns to read, but, after being an avid listener and viewer of yours, I recently read "The Christmas Sweater" and loved the book. I bought 4 to give to friends.

As I read the book, I was thinking about the redemption and realization and thought "wow, my husband is going to have his life changed, this is him, etc" I didn't really relate personally as I was thinking I had no personal "storm" that made me think about forgiveness and letting go of hurt feelings. That all changed this week.
My father was divorced from my mom when I was 6, my brother, 4. She had no career training as she married him young. She worked hard as a waitress, change-girl, and whatever she could to take care of us. My dad has always been a raging alcoholic and addictive personality (which he passed on to me…I too am a recovering alcoholic of 15 yrs). I didn't have a constant contact relationship w/my dad (even though we lived in the same town) since I've had a family because he could never come around without being drunk. He couldn't follow my rule of just being sober for a part of the day. He was hospitalized last week and diagnosed w/stage 4 bladder cancer. He deteriorated in 8 days and passed away w/my hand on his heart today. I was so worried that he would be alone when he died that I went to the hospice to wake him up and let him know I was there, that I loved him, that Heavenly Father loves him, that I forgive him for all the hurt feelings and absenteeism in my life, and that I was sorry for ever turning away from him.
It gave me great comfort to have him open his eyes in that bed and hear me. Tears welled in his eyes and he passed away about a minute later. This storm had been brewing my whole life and I never even recognized it. Now it is quelled w/my everlasting, unconditional love for this man who also loved his "baby girl" no matter what.

Thanks for helping me realize this, as your story is all of our stories.

Sally from Nevada
 

Hi Glenn,

I want to thank you for writing the only thing that has ever really made me open up and think about my own Christmas Sweater Story. You see, my mom died when I was 17. She had a very long bout with diabetes since she was 12 years old. I had left home when I was 15 because I was adopted and my dad treated me much different than his own kids...so, needless to say, I was a pretty rebellious pot-smoking, drug-abusing, anti establishment young punk. Anyway, the last year of my mom’s life she was very, very sick all the time and in and out of the hospital constantly. My grandfather tracked me down and took me to the hospital to see her and she was so sick but her eyes just lit up when she saw me enter her room and you could just see in her eyes that she didn't care about all the trouble and heartache I had been causing the family. She was just happy to see her little boy.

That was Christmas week. I am sad to say that, after that day, I did not see my mother again until after she died less than 8 months later. It breaks my heart that I was not there the last year of her life…because I could have been, but I stayed away because of my own selfish reasons of not wanting to deal with the family. I never really cried at mom’s funeral or any time until now, 33 years later. I have been crying for hours non-stop and I can’t believe how much I miss her and how much I regret not being there by her side when she was so weak and frail the last year of her life.

She was the best friend I have ever had and the dearest and strongest person I have ever met in my life and now, 33 years later, I can finally grieve for her. I honestly never realized all the guilt and pain I have kept bottled up inside of me for all these years for not being a better son and not being there for her that last year. I am divorced and alone now, it's just me and the dog and I have very few friends and am now finally realizing I have a lot of issues I need to deal with if I ever want to really start living my life.

Thank you for writing the book. It has made me dig deep and bring to the surface a lot of pain, grief and guilt that I have had buried deep down in my soul for a long time and did not want to face.

Her name is Edna and she died in North Carolina. She was the kindest, most gentle, strongest, caring person I have ever known in my life, and she was my mother. I miss her so and I hope she forgives me.

Thanks for your time,
Robert
 

Dear Glenn....

I wanted to write and say thank you for sharing your deeply personal message in “The Christmas Sweater.” As a fellow survivor of the storms of life, I also find it so "warm here." I read it in one sitting. I realize that you are a busy man but I wanted to share my story so that you understand why you touched me so deeply with this particular message.

In 2004, one month from the day I married my beautiful wife, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I had no normal symptoms (most people who know me say I never do anything the normal way), so it was not found until I had a football size tumor in my abdomen. I had done everything I could do to amend for the mistakes I had made. I had admitted my indiscretion with another woman to my ex-wife and my kids, and had asked for forgiveness. I had repented the way I was supposed to and came through that storm just to jump head first into the next one. I told my fiancé that she was free to run. Run away and never look back. After all, why would she want to be saddled with a cancer victim for a husband if she didn't have to?
But she did not quit on me.

Instead, she moved me into her house while I went through chemotherapy, and married me in between the first and second round. Then she went with me to Portland where I underwent the surgery that saved my life. I lost a kidney, my spleen, the tail of my pancreas and the major nerve root that travels through the groin and down my left leg. In the process of removing the pathway for the cancer to further advance, I lost circulation to my feet. I lay on that operating table for 14 hours with my guts hanging out so the surgeons could work their magic. My wife slept in the waiting room at night. I came out of surgery on full life support…and complications have been numerous, including congestive heart failure and a pacemaker.

The doctors told me I would not walk very well. I proved them wrong. They said I would need a cane; I only use it when I am on unsure footing. They told me I would not be able to do much, but I coach little league and am a new scout leader along with being a stay at home dad raising four boys who are not mine biologically, but have became mine in heart and soul. Not bad for a disabled guy.

I do not tell you this for pity or sympathy. I just wanted you to know that I get it. I have been in some very dark places and enjoy it in the sun now that I am here. The funny thing is that I thank God every day for my cancer. It was not a curse, it became a blessing. At one time I was a successful banker and had all that I thought I wanted. I have discovered since that having what we need, and not what all we want makes us much more happy. It is a journey to figure that out, but it sure is nice when we do. I spend most of the time I have with what ability I have left now serving others. It helps me forget about the daily pain and the fatigue, and it is my purpose. I will die a pauper, but I will go to my Savior with my honor intact and my repentance full and my preparation for the next life as complete as I can get it.

Thank you for your book. I am getting more copies and sharing with all of my nine children.

Richard from Idaho
 

Dear Glenn,

I am 47 years old and lost my husband to cancer in April of this year. We were on vacation in late January when he had severe pain in his back and we cut our vacation short, came home and checked him into the hospital. Five days later we were told he had stage 4 lung cancer that had metastasized into his bones. He refused treatment and came home to die. He passed away in April. Although we had 2 1/2 months to say all of the things you want to say, it is really never enough time. These past six months have been very difficult – you have regrets and sorrows and things you wish you had done better for your loved one.

I heard about your book signing in Exton at the Barnes and Nobel on the radio so I decided to take a ride over to buy your book and stand in line. While I was standing in line I met so many nice people who think the same way that I do. It was one of the best times I have had in months. I also met a very nice lady who had lost her husband 5 years ago who has since remarried and has found happiness – she insisted on giving me her e-mail address and offered her assistance with what I am going through and assured me that I can find happiness again.

The next morning I got up and read your book “The Christmas Sweater.” I sat and read the entire book in a few hours – I could not put it down – it is the best book I have ever read. I cried like a baby, but it wasn’t because I was sad – it was because it made me realize I was facing my storm and there is light on the other side, that God really does want us to be happy. I had lost sight of that and you have shown me how to come back. Thank you for the best Christmas present I could have ever gotten. I was meant to go to your book signing.

May God Bless You and Your Family this Christmas Season and Always.

Maureen
 

Glenn,

I do not know how to truly thank you for “The Christmas Sweater.” I am a 25 year old former Marine who is currently double majoring in History and Science education, and your book is the first time I have cried in a long time, and the first ever while reading.

I feel like I am Eddie. My family was just like his: poor, but I never realized it. I remember my mother working 60 to 80 hours a week while going to college yet always being there when I needed her. Just like Eddie, all I wanted for Christmas was one thing: a pair of rollerblades. Instead, I got a hand-made comforter from my mother which I am ashamed to say I never used or said thank you for until many years later. Earlier that year my grandmother had died after a long bout with cancer and I was angry with everyone. I got in fights, shoplifted, anything I could do to hurt those close to me and completely turned away from God.

I joined the Marine Corps and while I was at communications school, my mom called to tell me that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. A few months earlier, she had sent me a box of things from home, as I searched through the box I found that comforter which I had never used and I lost it. I saw how I had treated my mom and my family and just like Eddie had realized I hated who I had become. Luckily, my roommate became my Russell. He walked in on me curled up in a ball on the floor of our room clutching that blanket and listened to everything I had to say and helped show me I was worthy of a second chance.

My life has been different ever since that day.

Thank you so much for this book. It puts into words experiences I have never been unable to articulate myself. Thank you for sharing this remarkable story with us, it truly was divinely inspired. Now all I have to worry about is my friends being able to read through the tear stained pages. Merry Christmas to you and yours and God Bless.

Philip
 

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